Saturday, September 6, 2008

God Wants To Talk To The Republicans

I and a group of true believers were speaking to God today. Not just in general terms mind you, like when you go to church or when you meditate, but He came down from on High and sat with us awhile. Surprised by His sudden appearance, we all immediately clamored to fetch refreshments for God, knowing how far of a journey He had come, just to speak with us lowly mortals. God pointed out that since He had come in Spirit form this time, that He obviously could not partake of physical food and drink.

He gathered us around into a circle, so that each of us was facing Him, and He could pivot to look each of us in the eyes as He spoke. He said He had come to give us a message to carry out to the rest of the nation, a message so important that He had come to deliver it in person.

He told us He had been watching the recent Party Conventions in this country that bandies His name about as though He were a mascot for one politician over another. He was upset that one Party was trying to claim that He advocated for them over the rest of the people in this particular nation. He wanted to set the record straight and He exhorted us to go forth with the newest Good News.

To say we were speechless would be the understatement of all time, but we shuffled in closer to hang on God's every word. He went on to tell us that the Republican Party of the United States did not have any exclusive phone line to Him, nor did ANY of the so called preachers like James Dobson or Ralph Reed. Pointing out where they had twisted and perverted the messages He'd left for us before, He said that He was becoming angry with them for their false claims and leading of His people into damnation.

The ground began moving under our feet and Bushes began burning before our very eyes as God angrily began a tirade against the messages against the poor and the helpless put forth by the Republican Party. Seeing us become afraid however, the Lord waved His hand and all became calm once more. But the fire never left His eyes as He declared the message we were to send forth. The message is this: God says to the Republican Party of the United States that they should remove themselves from the ballots in all 50 states. That He has grown weary of their lies and corruption, and their attempts to subvert His Word into political propaganda just to enrich themselves and their conspirator friends.

He said that should they obey Him this one time, He may once again let them back in His good Graces. But He warned of the consequences awaiting them when their time comes and they must stand and answer why they did not obey His word. As He pointed out to us, and told us to tell the world also, He ordered us to love one another, not kill in His name. He ordered us to take care of the poor, not declare they could fend for themselves. To help the sick and the infirm, not debate over who gets medical care and who doesn't. He decried the new money changing is His temples, and the money made by hucksters who disobey His very essence, which is of Goodness and Love, and Respect for your fellow peoples the world over. He declares that all wars must cease and that those who think they are on a mission from Him to kill in His name will be left in a very unpleasant place when the time of the Rapture comes. He also said that He will decide when that Rapture comes, and needs no help from the Republican Party.

For the rest of the world He delivers this creed. Feed His people everywhere in the world. He says we in this country have the means and the know how to end hunger the entire planet over, and that we should use our abilities to truly serve Him. House those with no homes, because with the massive amounts of money spent on guns and bombs and planes and nuclear missiles, He knows we could instead build houses and apartments for those who can't do it themselves. Deliver free medical care to the planet, no matter if you lose a few patents. God says He is tired of greeting His people at the gates of heaven before they are supposed to arrive, when He gave us the knowledge to prevent the untimely deaths of millions and millions every year.

He warned the tyrants and would be extremists that they had better stop what they're doing, lest He become fully angry at them for their despotic ways. He orders the disbanding of all far right wing 'churches', the ones who spew hatred and who claim to speak with Him, when in reality, all they do is suck up wannabe followers' money like a vacuum sucks up dirt. He admonishes those who are destroying the planet He made, that He will likewise destroy them, and to the purveyors of the perpetuation of division and rancor amongst the people, He says that your days are being counted down.

Because God says that as we enter the final phase of this bitter election season, He has heard too many lies of the Republican Party claiming to be the Party of God, when in reality, it is Satan that leads your cult of oil and profit stealing, and who brings you to hate all those not like yourselves. You bow and worship before the altar of the Liar, and accept his gifts of exorbitant fortune in exchange for the perversion of the Word of God. God demands that you halt this practice, and from what we could see, we don't think He was kidding.

With the message firmly implanted and seared into our souls, four angels descended from the skies and gingerly lifted God up, flying into the night sky in a great burst of light. As He was leaving He shouted out His warning one last time. "The Republican Party must throw this election or fall out of favor with God forever. And all those who vote Republican will be in peril of the fires of hell also". And with that God was gone, back to wherever it is that He hangs out when He isn't appearing to people every couple of thousand years or so to impart messages of world importance.

So you see, Sarah Palin, John McCain and the rest of you so called holy rollers who wish to dominate and control the rest of humanity, God is not on your side, He told me so in person. Now, according to what you tell your sheeple every day, God is never wrong, and so, you must cease what you're doing and change your ways. Or will you now claim that God never spoke to me, and if so, how do you know? Will you claim exclusive rights to communication with the Almighty? Will you claim that your God is different from mine? Because in order to make any such claim, you would have to admit that you follow a God of hatred and war and greed and contempt for your fellow human beings. And that the rest of us follow the words of a God of love and of peace and of caring and of respect for the rights of others. It's up to you. God has spoken, the message has been delivered, and you'll have to decide whether or not to obey the God you claim to believe in and wish to shove down everyone's throats whether they believe or not.

If you do all drop out of the race, then we'll have to believe you won't we? If you don't, we'll know we were right all along and that you are all a bunch of lying, conniving, disgusting non-believers who are as the Pharisees of old. Willing to say anything, do anything, become like a chameleon and blend into any background in order to hold the reins of power.

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