Friday, August 8, 2008

The Hilarious Week In Media Review

Flipping from media web site to media web site this week, it was my first reaction to laugh at what is obviously a tragic situation. The FBI's non arrest of scientist Bruce Ivins for a crime they claim to have proof of would have been a serious affair had the mainstream media not botched the entire story, (save for Olberman, who as usual got most of it right), by trying to make Ivins look like Lee Harvey Oswald. On almost every single mainstream media site, the picture used for Ivin was a black and white photo with the headline reading "FBI says scientist acted alone!" or some variation thereof. The instant it caught my eye, I burst out laughing at the transparent attempt to link in the public's mind, shades of the Kennedy assassination with the anthrax case. Did this guy act alone? Highly doubtful. But it is an election year and all that.

The President of the United States said some really funny shoot while overseas this week. Trying to strike a balance between insulting corporate business partner China, telling it like it is, and not coming off as the world's biggest hypocrite, was truly a gloriously humorous moment. Imagine this dictatorial little gutter snipe telling China that they shouldn't interfere with their people's right to free assembly, free speech, or human rights such as freedom of religion, while here in the U.S., he has done everything he and his little fascist bully friends could do to destroy those very same ideals. I roared with laughter at that one. I also thought it greatly surreal that as our troops are still getting killed in Iraq and Afghanistan, our glorious leader is on yet another vacation, you know, being an avid sports fan and all. And the funniest part is, You, yes you, and you and you, are PAYING for it! Hahaha.

Switching back home, we have proof that the new police state mentality has given at least one sheriff the impression that he's above the law. I could laugh away the pink underwear, but what isn't funny, although many right wing media outlets made it appear to be, is the fact that Maricopa County Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio feels that the Supreme Court of the State of Arizona was only kidding when they issued a ruling against him for not transporting female inmates to medical appointments that had to do with terminating pregnancies. This media hungry monster, who also believes it to be funny that he only feeds prisoners two meals a day, one of which usually consists of green baloney not fit for dogs, somehow doesn't understand the meaning of the word heat stroke. As in allowing for up to 2,000 inmates to swelter in tent cities under 120 degree heat. If you don't want to obey the law Joe, maybe someone needs to out your latent homosexual tendencies by forcing you to visit your own American Abu Garib in some of those pink underwear. Now that would be funny.

Funnier still is the slap in the face the entire Bush MadHouse received when Hamdan was found innocent of most of the charges the government trumped up against him, and found guilty of being.........uh, a driver. Hahaha. Given 5 1/2 years, he will have finished serving his term in 5 months, but the stir of echoes from Darth Cheney's office are already beginning. This sap isn't getting out in 5 months, because the above the law White House is just going to hold him as an 'enemy combatant' for the duration of the war of terror. Meaning forever. Meaning that if they decide tomorrow that everyone who dissents against this run amok government is an enemy combatant, we could all be siting in the cells alongside Hamdan for the duration of the U.S. Government's war against the American people.

Yet another gut busting story came along this week as the authorities arrested the wrong Rockefeller. This guy supposedly kidnapped his own daughter; ie; a custody battle was ensuing. The nationwide media manhunt for this Rockefeller should have instead been directed at the real Rockefeller family. The ones who along with the Bilderberg Group, meet every year to determine who lives and who dies. Which part of the world gets to eat and who starves to death. How to set policy that the U.S. government will follow and how to best exploit Americans and drive the wedge between rich and poor even deeper. Funny how the true criminals get away with murder, while some clearly out of his mind foll gets all the media attention.

The son of Satan himself will be speaking at the Republican National Convention we learned this week. What? Do the Republicans just have a desire to lose as many positions as they possibly can this year? Hahaha. Letting Dick 'Shoot 'em and as questions later' Cheney speak is akin to asking for every blogger in the world to collectively copy Hugo Chavez's line from his speech at the U.N. after Bush spoke there the day before. "I can still smell the sulphur. The devil was here, right here, and I can still smell the sulphur." Hahahaha. How come the media isn't being very hard on Cheney? Come on, this guy don't look so tough. Well, maybe to Wolf Blitzer he does.

I can no longer laugh at John McCain's senile antics. Even though they are pretty funny, especially his wild and wacky plea for votes from such groups as the Outlaws, the Devil's Disciples, The Bandidos, The Hell's Angels, and other such lesser known biker gangs at Sturgis this week, I wonder why he offered poor Cindy up as a Buffalo Chip Girl contestant. Did he not know that nudity was a requirement, and that contestants that lose are, wink, wink, required to service groups of men? Did he even know where he was? Stumbling over his words, making stuff up on the fly, I think he heard all those Harley's growling and just wanted to get the hell out of there. But the frightening part of this amusing story is that McCain is clearly not playing with a full deck, and those of us tin foil hatters are starting to look like geniuses, because we were the first ones in the world to point out that McCain does not speak for the McCain campaign, as per his own campaign manager. Hahaha.

But wait, there's more. At a hacker's conference in Las Vegas, (a what?), three French reporters that work for Global Security Magazine and it's web site, were booted from the conference for gaining access to other reporters passwords and user names. The wronged reporters worked for CNET and eWeek. The crime? The French reporters HACKED into the other guys' computers. Hahaha. You can't make this stuff up.

But the really funny story of the week is that we may not have too much to worry about at all in about one month's time as the Hadron Collider comes online this week for pre-trial tests that will lead to the smashing together of protons next month at speeds designed to break them into vapor basically. There is a group of scientists from around the world attempting to stop the experiment claiming that the testing could create a black hole or other condition that has the potential to destroy the earth. Hahaha. Put your tin foil hats on Docs. Oh. What's that? The scientists at the Hadron Collider don't deny that it's possible in theory that the scenario laid out actually could come about, even though the chances are extremely remote? Hahaha. Now that's funny. We could all be dead in a month because some mad scientists are going to go ahead with an experiment that they say they have no clue as to the results of the test, and we're here arguing over the Paris Hilton/John McCain ad. Hahaha. Yeah, very funny.

And just for laughs, I thought I'd remind everyone once more that the St. Paul, Minnesota police department will be receiving 347 brand spanking new tasers this month, on top of the 134 tasers their cops already carry around. The police chief claims that it's just a coincidence that they'll be getting these toys for boys just in time for the Republican national Convention. Oh. I hope some independent reporters are on hand, because MSM is never going to show us those hilarious videos of hundreds of protesters writhing in the streets with taser darts stuck in them, hahaha.

Hopefully the next week will bring as much comic relief as this week just past. Although my side hurts from laughing so much, I quite enjoy the asinine stories the media expects the public to swallow, and even worse, the parroting of talking points put out by anyone in this government of liars, thieves, traitors, and crooks.

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