Tuesday, July 22, 2008

What Are We Going To Do Without Bush?

With only a little while left until the elections in November, I have had the sudden epiphany that those of us who enjoy bashing him on a near daily basis, are about to lose our greatest source for laughter and derision in quite some time. Looking out across the political landscape, one could always see John McCain and his clown posse of a campaign and use that as fodder for our blogosphere, but it would be too short lived and somehow unsatisfying.

How is anyone ever going to be such a gaffe machine as to produce such gems as " "But all in all, it's been a fabulous year for Laura and me." Dec. 21st, 2001 Just three months after 9/11.

Or “There’s no doubt in my mind that we should allow the world worst leaders to hold America hostage, to threaten our peace, to threaten our friends and allies with the world’s worst weapons.” Sept. 5th, 2002.

Who could forget "“The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the — the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice.” Oct. 27th, 2003.

And after the recent G-8 summit, Bush thrust his fist into the air and shouted his Freudian slip of ""Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter!"

What's going to top some of these sayings by the most incompetent person to ever grace the Oval Office? Just what are we going to goof on when the village idiot retires to his ranch, or flees the country to Paraguay? There's been so much and so many many blunders and gaffes that we couldn't keep up with them all if we tried.

Now, John McCain might have been fodder for our keyboards due to to unerring ability to make a fool out of himself, such as his telling reporters that Iraq was on Pakistan's border to prove his foreign policy credentials, but come on, we all know the Republicans have decided to sit this one out. There's no way they put forth this senile buffoon with any real intention of holding on to the White House. (Unless of course they intend to steal California this time, hahaha, Hmmmm.)

So who is that going to leave us? Cheney will be gone or in prison, Rumsfeld is hiding out in his underground bunker plotting his next war, Rice is going to Paraguay with Bush after he divorces Laura, and Mukasey will be wandering around K Street in an amnesiac dementia. They say you never miss something until it's gone, and it's going to hold true with the departure of the Bush dictatorship. Gone are the jokes of sulphur burning at the U.N. podium. Jeez, I sort of miss the guy already. It's almost going to be like when you break your leg and sit in a cast for three months. You hate the damned thing, but when they finally take it off, your leg feels weird and you almost kind of miss the cast!

Can we goof on Obama when he wins the Presidency? So far he's given us not much to go on. Yes, there will be plenty of time after the election to snark all over him and whomever he picks as his Vice-President, but that doesn't help in the short term. So I've come up with a solution of sorts, but it's going to take a lot of cunning and guile to pull off. I know the idea is radical and some will decry the notion. But after the war crimes trial and conviction, could we not make Bush the official New York City pooper-scooper? You know, the one in charge of cleaning up all the sh*t? It would be a fitting and funny punishment, don't you think, because he's leaving a huge pile of it behind for the rest of us to clean up.

Yep. As we move forward into a new era of American politics, there will no doubt be some nostalgia for the days when we could all write about and laugh about things like ""And there is distrust in Washington. I am surprised, frankly, at the amount of distrust that exists in this town. And I'm sorry it's the case, and I'll work hard to try to elevate it." Jan. 29th 2007. Or" "One of my concerns is that the health care not be as good as it can possibly be." April 19th, 2007

So just what we going to do without Bush? For starters, we can repair the damage he's done to our Constitution, Bill Of Rights, the Rule of Law, and our reputation around the world. We can stop torturing people, kill the domestic spying program, get out of Iraq, go get Bin Laden so he can tell us how much the neocons paid him, put an end to the abuse of power by the police in this country, and oh yeah, stop Wall Street from ripping off the taxpayers. Maybe we can produce some good paying jobs. End poverty in America. Go to the moon and beyond.

That's just a few of the things we can do when Bush is gone, Cheney isn't stalking the President on the White House lawn, and the American people realize just how badly they've been shafted. but that still doesn't give us a fall guy, so can those close to Rudy Giuliani convince him to run for the Senate, or Governor, or something? Please?

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